Home Sweet Home

well... im finaly home since pesach! its been a while ... not used to....

people coming in to my room....

my mother making my bed.....

cleaning lady doing my laundry....

my mother screamin....

my mother telling me dont be late....

or...come home its getting late....

well i guess life is getting back to normal but not for long... im getting out of here soon i'm heading to colorodo for Manis Friedman summer program...i'm really excited but nervosue at the same time!!

I cant belive 2 years flew by that i lived in new york...

I got my high school diploma...

I graduated ....

And noone thought I would ever make it... Noone had hope in me.... Everyone doubted me ....

Everyone told me I'll never make it anywhere....

Everyone told me I'll be on the streets...

well... EVERYONE... guess.. what... i moved on in life..!!!! school is finaly over i waited sooo long for this day since i entered first day i counted down the years of leaving school... and NOW its over...I'm sad and happy at the same time...

sad:because now its time to move on to a diffrent stage in life... not always being friends with who u were always friends with ... cuz they also move on and i wish they can be there forever...

happy: because I GRADUATED... i never have to enter high school again...!!!! i know its sounds crazy... but i hated high school with my heart and soul... and now its all over!!!

and like it says "life is not a book, it can be over in a second"
have a great summer.... and ill fill u in how everythings going...!!!

mixed emotions

well this week 2 things happend...

#1 someone i know passed away # 2 someone i know had triplets....

how is someone seposed to feel??

why is this all hapening? how does G-d expect me to be happy?

Everyday something else... Everyday someone esle gets hurt, while somone just got engaged or had a baby...

should i cry or be happy? how can u be happy when these things are happening in the world? on the other hand, someone jsut had triplets how can u be sad?

everytime i loose someone i just think sometimes that one day it might be me and its a really scary thought that scares me and sometimes i just dont sleep thiking about all these horrible things. why cant G-d do something good? why did he deserve to die? why does anyone deserve to die? its painfull when u loose someone and u dont know where to put urself... i dont know how people just carry on ... but on the other hand where will u end up if not? wat will happen to u if u just cry all day? well sometimes i just feel like doing that and i dont care wat people tell me.

but again its always the good people this happends to why them? why not me? why not anyone else? i can sit and cry all day but i know i wont get anywhere ... and i just gotta be strong but i cant... i keep fighting withmyslef...i have constant struggles... i cry to my friends they cry to me and we jsut sit and cry.. and i try calming her down... but i'm not calm myslef...

when will this all end?

("sonia lansky" i just want you to know im sitting here crying and thiking of u...and i dont want to leave u eventhough we are going to diffrent seminarys, and u might go to college and i might end up on shlichus or married.... or wtvr g-d has in plans for me and u and i just want you to know i promise ill be here for you forever and i'm really really gonna miss u soo much and ill never ever forget u!!

BORED

Hey hey ...wow long time no write i think this blog is getting pretty boring ! i was pretty in to it in the beggining... but lifes getting tough and more interesting by the day and i just lost patience to write...
so basicaly school is literly almost over i've got 6 finals left and then done SCHOOL... for life isnt that exciting? i never thought it would end its been quite long since i've actualy started school, i remeber the first day of seventh grade when the teacher asked me to leave the class cuz i was talking... and ever since then trouble started... oh man does life suck!!!
alright... have a good shabos ill write again when life gets more intretinger...